Well folks, it’s that time of year again. Snow is falling and melting and falling again. Parka hoods are being raised against the cold. Students are calculating how it will be possible to get 160% on their finals to bump up to an A.
That’s right: finals week is upon us. Students all over campus are worried about how they’re going to type 12 pages in six hours -- they shouldn’t have to be worried about how they’re going to eat. So, I present to you my expert tips on how to eat your way through finals week at little or no cost to yourself.
10. Check your own supplies
A lot of people find themselves stress cleaning before finals. Take advantage of your neurotic studying avoidance and really do a deep search for any tasty snacks that may have slipped through the cracks during the semester. You’ll be really grateful you lost that bag of Doritos in October now that you can snack on it while studying.
9. Have sympathetic professors
This one can be pretty difficult to pull off smoothly but if successful, it’s possible to have professors who will bring donuts or coffee to exams. Look for professors who have shown at least a flicker of humanity. Pair that with an exam before 10:30 a.m. (the earlier the better) and you should be able to sway them into feeding the class. It really helps if you bring it up during class -- your peers will immediately side with you and you can all wear your professors down together.
8. Go to mass
Depending on the mass (more likely with dorm masses), there's often times more substantial food afterwards, so keep an eye out for that. With the amount of masses held on campus, you can really fill yourself up if you’re diligent.
7. Have a cool boss
Big shout out to Catey for feeding us.
6. Have a friend who stress bakes
It’s crucial that you find yourself a friend who not only will back for you but does it compulsively. If you’re worried it’s too late in the semester to make friends right now, you’re probably right, but this is a great time to plan ahead. Keep an eye on your dorm kitchen and find the people baking. Make a note and make sure you friend that person hard next semester. Alternatively, if you’re the friend who stress bakes; we all love you, watch out for people who only are friends with you for the free food.
5. Call in Favors
Though a little more time consuming, this is the perfect time of year to target your friends who still have flex points and tell them you want to meet up before the holidays. A great way to get free coffee or even food if you sell your desperation well enough. I personally love the line “I wish we could grab coffee before break but I’m too broke for Starbucks, lol.” The "lol" is what fools them into thinking you have no anterior motive, make sure to remember it.
This is the time to take the hall events for everything they’re worth. Bring your containers, bring your Ziploc bags and grab as many goodies as can fit in your backpacks. If my friend was able to genuinely take 100 bananas in one day, you can support yourself through finals week.
3. Study Breaks
There are a few sponsored study breaks each semester that provide students with food and a moment of respite before exams. They only rank in spot three because they are often very crowded with your fellow zombies. Two prominent examples are the one hosted in Jordan by the ND Clubs (lots of food and pizza and free coffee) and the Como pancakes hosted by Student Ministry.
During finals week, dorms will try to alleviate residents’ suffering by offering free study snacks. They tend to range in quality, anywhere from berries and pastries to freezer burned chicken nuggets. Luckily, there’s no one stopping you from moving from dorm to dorm to collect snacks as you go. Just be confident and no one will question who you are or why you’re walking around with a plate piled with eclectic foods.
1. Drop hints to your parents
Next time your parents call, make sure to artfully weave mentions of how you forgot to eat because you were studying so hard into the conversation. This will trigger their guilty parent reflex and can earn you anything from a little coffee money to a full blown care package.